[Spoiler alert – it’s not. Yet.] Recently a 29-year-old was bemoaning the onslaught of invitations to engagements, weddings and baby showers and the hit to their budget with gift expectations rising along with the cost of living. There’s something about the transition between the 20s and 30s that gets people in coupling mode. The data shows this out – the average (median) age of Australians who married in 2023 was 33 for men and 31 for women. When you’re in the midst of this wedding epidemic it’s hard to believe that marriage is going out of style. But it is.
What does history say?
Just look at this graph of marriage rates in Australia all the way back to 1901 when they started keeping official records. First, let me quickly explain the numbers you’re looking at. The measure which you’ll see varies between 2 and 12 is called a ‘crude rate’ is the actual number of marriages per 1,000 people in the population. Using rates means you can compare how many people get married in different population sizes.
What we can see is that what’s going on in the world affects how many people get married. The Great Depression saw a big dip in marriage rates which was understandable with many people struggling to survive financially.
Each World War showed the same pattern, an increase in weddings at the start, a dip during the worst of these conflicts when so many people were away on active service followed by a big increase at the end. Interestingly, the biggest peak in marriages in Australia ever came in 1942 in the earlier years of World War II – 12 weddings for every 1,000 people.
The end of World War II signaled the start of the infamous Baby Boom when all those married folks started having babies. Those boomer babies ageing into their 20s were responsible for the next peak in marriage rates between 1966 and 1973.
It’s all downhill from there
Since the peak rate in 1970 (9.3 in 1,000) there’s been a strong downward trend in marriages and in 2023 only 4.4 people in 1,000 got married. This is an all-time low, even with same-sex marriage being legalised at the end of 2017 allowing more Australians to legally marry. On that topic, in 2023, same-sex weddings made up 4,558 (or 3.8%) of the 118,439 weddings.
The decline in marriage is not just happening in Australia, a similar pattern can be seen in many countries across the globe. Just have a look at this international data.
So why the decline?
It’s complicated, but here are a few of the theories.
- Fewer people are partnering and instead choosing to live solo.
- More partners are living together or together-apart in a committed relationship without a legal ceremony.
- The idea that marriage is a prerequisite for having a family has changed, so: more single people are having children on their own; and fewer couples are getting married to have children.
What do the people say?
A 2024 survey of 1,000 Australians aged 18-69 years found that 32% of those not currently married did not want to get married and 27% were unsure. The researchers asked them why they didn’t want to get married. The top three reasons most popular reasons suggest these folks are happy the way they are and marriage is not on their agenda. Interestingly, the question asked by this blog – is marriage outdated? – was endorsed by 22% of these Australians who didn’t want to get married.
Why people are still getting married
We’re getting the idea that marriage is not the rite of passage it used to be, but there are still plenty of Australians are tying the knot. The same survey asked the folks who were pro-marriage why they wanted it. Have a look at the figure below.
What strikes me is that three of what I’d consider the traditional reasons for getting married were way down the list – cultural or religious norms (12%), financial security (10%) and having children (10%). The top two reasons people gave for wanting marriage were about the celebration and symbolism of the wedding. It seems these shared experiences remain important to many of us. And who doesn’t love a good party.
References
Australian Bureau of Statistics, Marriages and Divorces (1995 & 2023)
Budget Direct, Marriage and Family Survey and Statistics 2024